Unanswered prayers

   It's funny sometimes how life hands you the total and complete opposite of what you think you want or need. It is as if the universe has a wicked cruel sense of humor. I am trying to embrace the reality that things are going to happen as they are supposed to. Just let the chips fall as they will. Why is it that I think I am powerful enough to bring forth change in something that is so obviously beyond my control. I can no more control the actions of others then I can stop the rain from falling or the sky from falling. If I would sit back and just learn to chill and watch this life unfold around me I would surely be much better off. This is not really because of any specific event just pondering life and it's complexities. I worry about silly things like the lakes drying up or the weather not be cooling enough. Surely I am smart enough to know that these are things I have absolutely zero control over. Maybe my lesson in today is that the only thing I can control is me and my actions and everyone else can handle their own junk. The very fact that I thought I could propagate someone else shows me that I indeed have a lot of work left to do on myself. I will forever be a work in progress.
    When I was a young girl I had ideals and visions of what my life would be as an adult. I look back and realize those were a child's thoughts and dreams. Maybe they changed as I got older but I am fairly certain that I never saw this life or any part of it being foretold. I always envisioned I would be a Mother and a writer and it took me until my life is more than half over to get myself here. I don't regret anything in my life nor would I change it. That is where the big BUT comes in....I might would have like to have had some insight in to how precious the days are and how easily we lose those that are closest to us. The ride has been fun and I can smile and know that all things really do work out like they are supposed to. Perhaps it's just because I prayed for things that I really didn't need but I really do thank God for unanswered prayers.